How to Disappear completely

I hope you know that Radiohead song. If not,
A. I feel sorry for you
B. Listen to it NOW. (click)
Because it inspired me to write a short story. In fact, I don't feel like posting the story on Blogger, so read it here instead.

Progress Update

So here's the deal: I got five chapters of that scifi story done, but things are not quite going so well now. The first five chapters represent the first section, but I'm not exactly sure if I should continue. I just don't have that magical inspiration anymore. So if I don't feel like continuing, I might post what I've got so far, but it's not of the purest writing.

Aside from that, I have another story going. I won't reveal the details, but it was inspired by Death Note. I'll try not to copy anything from Death Note, but that won't be too hard, because I've only seen it once anyway. So... big city, college campus, involves death.

Monochrome

The sun hid itself that day. The clouds flooded the sky like the ocean's lap upon the beach at high tide. Cold wind suffused the forest with the breath of some great unknown force. The inanimate trees dripped of rain as the sky lost its dying light.

The thin mist echoed with the clear voice of an upright piano. Its music calmed the air, but it also sided with arising darkness and the cold wind. In a small isolated gazebo, a young man sat and played expressively, waving his head to the music and quietly singing lucid notes.

Resolving to the final chord, his fingers searched for the right keys, and with a sigh, his hands descended with relent. The sound echoed throughout the forest and in his mind. As he closed the piano's cover cautiously and left along a faint trail, humming to the music that guided his path.

He swam in a river of thought. He could feel the puzzled eyes of the oblivious staring at him, wondering what he was thinking. He was pressed by the outgoing nature of those in his life, who considered him abnormal for spending time alone.

All these troubles entered his sight as he left his sanctuary and headed home. Emerging from the fog, a house appeared in faint color. He disappeared from the forest. So the sun set behind a cloud veil.

The next day he returned. Flakes of crisp snow collected on the soaked ground as grey clouds scrolled past the landscape. He paced slowly through the air.

Finding a dry place, he sat and thought. The forest seemed alive to him, alive with the chilling and calming wind, the gentle snow that decorated the ground, and the shadows of clouds that marched across the sky like ominous spirits. He felt connected to the unknown supernatural force that gave him life, as through meditation he breathed with it. "God" he called it. Its ways were unknown to him, for he had been raised in an atheistic family, and he was merely an agnostic himself. He only faintly held on to the belief that it existed, for now it seemed closed to him. At times it seemed like a set of rumors to answer all of the common questions, but now it seemed so alive in his mind, the mind which he had questioned.

He continued his meditation on the piano, composing music of mysterious subconscious worlds with such emotion that echoed in the winter sky. He had always seemed to find a way to express his emotions through music, whether rational or irrational. Now, as those emotions resonated in the open landscape, all was finished.

A Letter

Dear John the Person,
It has come to my attention that you have thoroughly enjoyed the month of June as a pleasant vacation from the droning hours of school work. I am glad to see this. Certainly vacationing to the mountains, playing and writing music, taking beautiful pictures, and writing inspiring poetry is a good way to relax one's mind. However, the whole month of June has passed. How quickly it has flown by indeed! And with the entire month of July to use, I reckon that you could find something to do during that month also. Especially considering that you, a borderline, unmotivated Academic Magnet student, have hours and piles of work to do. Has it not occured to you that annotating two (and possible three) books may take some time? You shouldn't worry about time; you have plenty of that. You should worry about using your time. I know that you are aware that your morals of time use are quite arbitrary and inconsistent. The problem is that you take this half-truth and use it to sustain itself, using it as an excuse for why you don't do your work. Furthermore, I must point out that if you want to have any sort of significant inspiration in your life, books are the way to go. How you despised books. Were they boring? Surely not. Just the idea of facing 300 pages of paper for hours and hours seemed absolutely ridiculous to you. Of course, how could people waste their time so? But now, here you are, wasting your time looking at comedy sketches online. Surely a simple pleasure in life, but not one that actually has any long-term contribution. From this point on, you must challenge yourself to keep a truly open mind to books, as open as you have been to all various types of philosophy and the like. You just need something to get you interested in learning. You want to change your life, so you must now. Oh, I can just hear the reluctant complaints running through your head, polluting the air with such foulness that makes the idea seem absurd. What a paradox this is. You can't change until you feel confident that you can, and you can't feel confident until you do. John, I just want to point out that you must be aware of such a paradox with that maze of a mind of yours. How difficult a maze it is! Oh, the subject of motivation arbitrarily strikes it, seeping its way into it during times of deep inspiration, while most of the time it is ignored as a distraction, but of course, all else must be a distraction. So after you have used up your time looking around at pointless amusements, I really must insist that you spend some time doing some work. For you have longed to become some sort of landscape designer, haven't you? You can see yourself sitting on top of a stone arch in a beautiful ranging garden of wondrous works, priding yourself on your accomplishments. Well deserved pride that would be. But you must remember that simple pleasures are a distraction from the meaninful existence that you can possibly contribute to the world. The future John that sits upon that stone arch of accomplishment could surely tell you how he spent days and days loitering in the pit of laziness, watching the world go by, and how he really learned the hard way to motivate himself. Perhaps somewhere between the pen and the paper, the finger and the keyboard, you could find that passionate inspiration and let it sweep you away...
Cordially, John the Person

Words, words, words

Dear reader,
I suppose you might be kind of not really intrigued/interested in my story. But that's okay, because I pretty much told you nothing about it. Well, I have a plan:
Words to intrigue you:

technology phenomenon understand meaningless beliefs influential humanity dream science complex geographical imprinted New Earth Overseer birth pleasures death awakening darkness tank undernourishment evacuated cell compartments sustenance

Those are real words. From chapters 1-2.
BTW, totally making serious progress on chapter 3 here.

Update: Sci-fi all the way

I think I'm on to something here. I have been writing a sci-fi story. I don't know how long it will turn out, but I've got an introduction and two chapters. I am currently working on the third. I probably won't post it until I finish it completely, which may take a while, considering that I've got a lot of plot to go through and I will have to revise it when I'm done. Plotwise, I've got the intro/exposition down, and I am working on kind of the "woah this is messed up" stage. It will be worth it, I promise you. I've been feeling rather inspired, and I can get this done. In fact, it kinda makes me want to change my background from happy pretty grass to steampunk sci-fi. Oh well. I don't even know how/when I'll publish it. So I guess if you're bored enough to actually care about it, you could check out this game that kind of inspired it:
Exit Path
I can't wait for the second one to come out.

Human

Ah, where shall I begin?

Well, I've been thinking recently about what humans are and what makes us special, but I haven't really done much... This is kind of a continuation of my entry on consciousness, since I do find that topic to really be the center of all philosophy and such. So I guess I'll write about what it means to be human. That sounds really cheesy, by the way.
Why not kick it off with an allusion?
This is a song called "Human" by a band called Civil Twilight. You should listen to it and all, but here are some of the lyrics:

It's only love; it's only pain
It's only fear that runs through my veins
It's all the things you can't explain
That make us human

I am just an image of
something so much greater
I am just a picture frame
I am not the painter

Where can I begin?
Can I shed this skin?
What is this I feel?
...

If you didn't get much of that, they basically say that the meaning of being human is feeling emotions and (please don't kill me if I misinterpreted this, but I'm pretty sure what it means) being religious. I am religious, but religions aside for now, let's analyze this whole thing:
I believe that humans have a feeling of consciousness that is not detectable in any of the common five senses (or the little known/cared about others such as hunger, pee, ... (not esp, don't get excited)), but in a way, people are aware of their own existence. Self awareness, it is. So in reality, nothing is sure, nothing can be proven, but one's own existence.

So anyway, being serious now, some people might say that the human mind acts according to the laws of physics, and everything is an intense chemical reaction, and consciousness is an illusion. I say differently because of the idea of technological development. The second law of thermodynamics states that things become less complex, but people and their technology do the opposite. Of course, there's this whole argument over a closed system and what that is and how people are becoming complex, but I support this belief:

A mechanical mind such as a robot cannot evolve. Why? Because it's not programmed to. Why? because it doesn't know how to invent things and think outside of the box. Why? Because it is perfectly logical, and it has no perception of being wrong. If it could behave irrationally and be wrong like the people, it could evolve.

So that means that consciousness leads to irrational behavior, which leads to discovery, development, and invention. So in a way, logic is a restriction that computers can never rise above, and irrationality is a virtue.

So like Civil Twilight said, emotions make people human. And of course, emotions are quite irrational. So there you have it, folks. Maybe if I have time/feel motivated enough I'll get into the religious side of it later.

Status update

I have been debating over what to do with my literature skills. I have more poems, which I have added to DeviantArt, so you can check that out if you want, but I may or may not add some sort of story or poem to my blog. I know that's really vague, but that's as far as I have decided for now.

I Drift Away

I drift away
The world is no small place
As I open up to let in light
I turn from these broken rays
When a garden was my home
All I saw was the sky
Now I've seen past the edge
I've been lost in my mind
And when I look to the sky
I drift away

Consciousness and Accomplishment

For a very long time, the entire idea of human consciousness has baffled me. Finding that it is incredibly much more complex than it seems, I have tried to analyze it my best using a bit of science and philosophy. So be warned. This may turn out to be a very long post.

Understanding Consciousness

After years of trying to figure out consciousness, I have concluded that it is existent but separate from the physical universe. As humans, we know that we are alive, and we can make decisions and feel emotions in a way that is not limited to the science of the human. Therefore two elements are present in the human body: the conscious mind and the physical body. These two elements interact.

There is no physical proof of this. I admit that I cannot prove that I am any more than a series of biochemical reactions, but I can think and sense things in a very unique way. I have considered the possibility that consciousness is an illusion, that the science of the human brain can be predicted, and that the mind acts as a spectator of a predestined human being, but there is one problem. The human consciousness can make decisions aware of its own science. Also, it can develop increasingly complex ideas that seem physically impossible for a simple mind to develop. This leads to the conclusion that the human mind, whether physical or or supernatural, can never fully be understood. However, it can be partially understood, and this understanding along with the development of complex ideas marks the characteristics of consciousness and complexity.

My Theory of Possibility

Somewhat recently, I have developed a theory of possibility, which involves six dimensions. I will admit that I'm not very educated in this kind of thing, but let's pretend I am, okay? So my theory states that the universe is made up of six dimensions: three tangible and three intangible. The tangible ones are the familiar X, Y, and Z dimensions. The intangible ones are time, accomplishment, and physical possibility. Now let me explain.

Imagine that the universe is lifeless, if humans (and disputably animals, based on whether they are self-aware) didn't exist. Now the universe orderly. If you don't believe in the chaos theory or any other opposing view, everything behaves as you would expect it to behave. Therefore the universe would be predictable. In that case, assuming that everything could be known about the universe, everything would be certain. The future could be predicted. The words “could”, “could have”, “maybe”, “possibly”, and other similar words would be useless. Overall, there would be no need to ever mention what could have been done, could be done, or can not be done. This is because the human consciousness is unpredictable, and it interrupts the flow of the universe through interaction with the physical world. This means that the future becomes unknown, and it has to be classified through possibility, creating three additional dimensions.

To obtain a geometric view of the universe, imagine that the universe exists on a vertical timeline and that each point on that line represents the universe at a specific point of time. Now since possibility is a factor, imagine a 2 dimensional plane with time on the Y axis and accomplishment on the X axis. Or just take a look at the picture.

How it works: The universe goes through a path. There can only be one path, and it is limited in the dimension of accomplishment. It works almost exactly like a 2D flash game in which the player can move left or right at limited speed but will always move up. In effect, the area in which the player can move is restricted to a range set at an angle. To apply this to a philosophical view, the player represents the universe at the present time. The X dimension is accomplishment or how the universe could change. The Y axis is time. So this means that at any given time, it may be possible to intersect a certain point at a certain time, but later on, it may become impossible, and one must refer to it in a "could have" tense. This is because the range of possibility created by time constantly moves forward, leaving behind accomplishments. So as a conscious person makes a decision, he moves left or right, eliminating some possibilities while sustaining others. However, if an accomplishment is not limited by time, then it should be eventually possible. The problem with this is that things that are completely impossible become possible if given enough time. Now you could stick with that statement, but I believe that not all things are eventually possible.

So with that I introduce the sixth dimension: physical possibility. I had to create this dimension because I believe that there are some basic rules to the universe such as the laws of thermodynamics that will never be broken. So I considered there to be one plane of physical possibilities with accomplishment and time. I would place all of the physical impossibilities outside of this plane along the sixth dimension. So eventually, not all things are possible, but I think that what is possible and impossible is unknown.

So there we go again, we humans. Disrupting the flow of the universe. Who do we think we are?

Introspection

Perhaps I shall go a bit deeper into my personal self-description. First of all, I call myself a tree climber because I actually used to climb trees dangerously high (and still do on occasion). While a lot of the things I do may be considered antisocial or just plain weird, I do consider myself a self-labeled (and backed by 2 different personality tests) introvert. So the reason why I have a blog is that I'm really not good at verbal communication, but I can write just fine, and I have no fear of writing at all. And I do have friends, but not everywhere. I often spend my free time just thinking about random philosophy topics, and I do find that very interesting. I have joined my school's philosophy club, and as a result, my world view seems to change frequently.

One of the most interesting parts of this was that I was not always this way. I went through a huge personality change. In elementary school I was a class clown. I hung out with all of the cool people, but I still maintained my status as an at least somewhat respectable, good person. The big change happened in middle school. My jokes weren't funny anymore. I went from that funny guy to that weird guy. I still tried to be social and everything, but my sense of humor was just too obscure (and underdeveloped) to be funny. By the time I was in eighth grade, the only thing people knew me for was my occasional act of complete weirdness. Then in high school things calmed down. I wasn't crazy anymore. I'm not crazy. I promise. I'm still a bit weird though.

Well. That was mighty personal. I hope it was worth reading.

The Beginning

Hello. I am John, a 14-year-old male with a passion for: music, philosophy, and photography. While I enjoy logical thinking such as demonstrated in my other blog (not really, my other blog kinda sucks), I wanted to make a more creative/artistic-type blog to go with it. Therefore expect posts about personal philosophy and perhaps an occasional literary entry, such as a poem or short story. However, I don't really know that much about poetry. Or books. I'm not very much of a reader, but I do love writing, and I have a good bit of interesting material on my mind, so why not share it? Feel free to ask questions. (Yeah, like that's ever going to happen.)